面试英文自我介绍,请大家指正

>>没错，你是在interview，不过如果把话说成: I'm glad to have the chance to introduce myself to you可能轻松自然一些。

I am 28 years old,born in Shanxi province . I graduated from Xi'an university of science&technology.
>>> I was graduated...

my major is electronic information of science&technology .and I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2003.
>>> 直接说i got my bachelor degree of electronic information.... 会简洁一些

I spend most of my time on study, Ihave passed CET-6.
>>> most of my time was spent on studying... 不过。。。为什么要说这个呢？如果你成绩很好，可以告诉人家你的成绩是top5%或者什么的，无论如何，光说花了很多时间学习很无趣，除非你说你的爱好就是学习。。。

and I have acquired basic knowledge of my major during my school time.
>>> school time应该是中学时光，另外，这句话对于考官来说，也是废话

Since my graduation from the school three years ago,
>>> again, school should be replaced by university or campus...

I have been employed by Delta as a quality assurence engineer .
>>> i was employed...

In Delta,I was mainly duty on dealing with customer complain,making preparation for customer audit and internal production line audit.
>>> 个人感觉，I was mainly duty on...让人觉得很被动，如果说my responsibility was 或者 i was repsonsible on什么的感觉更积极一些。另外工作内容可以多发挥一些，比如during my 1year experience in Delta, I was mainly responsible on dealing with cusotmer complains. which includs 8D team moderation / internal activity coordination and corrective action control / verification / monitoring etc... to meet maximun customer satisfaction.... 如果能提出一些量化的东西，比如处理客户投诉的件数，处理周期从多少缩短到多少，客户满意度从多少上升到多少等等，就更好了

Because I'm capable of more responsibilities, so I decided to change my job.
>>>不一定需要把这个告诉面试官

One year later,I left Delta and worked for Foxconn as a quality engineer.I mainly duty is to design reliability test procedure,dispose abnormal matter happend in production line.I am also duty to orgnise and preside weekly quality routine meeting.
>>>同前面提到的一样，多发挥一些，比如my main duty was to design reliability test prodedure to ensure the customers' expectation and industrial standard of product could be met... as well, i'm responsible to deal with the process instability in production line, together with the production engineers/ manager, we implement the process control procedure.../ deal with process abnormals blahblahblah...

Because I want to work for a company in which I can gain more knowledge. That is the reason why I come here to compete for this position.
>>> 可以从两方面说你换工作的原因，从公司的角度可以是针对招聘简章或者猎头对公司和职位的介绍进行一些分析，说明公司的需求我正好能够完全满足，另外，从个人角度来说，贵公司的一些与本人以往经历不同的地方（例如产品线不同，规模不同等等）都是很有吸引力的新挑战，此外，如果有一些个人的需求，比如正好希望调到这个城市/区域工作，可以离家近一些，等等，可以视情况告诉面试官。所有以上这些，只是为了说明一点：it would be a perfect win win solution if we can make this deal :-)

I'm a good team player and I'm a person of great honesty to others. Also I am able to work under great pressure.
>>>这是空话，如果能在过去的经历中多提到一些teamwork,work under pressure的实际例子，效果更好。

That’s all. Thank you for giving me the chance.
>>>that's not all! 这不是结束！可以说ya...that's briefly my personal history and some thoughts about the job / position，然后让面试官继续，或者提示他们可以问你一些问题, so... any question or ?