请教给位大侠指导英文简历写得怎么样，语法和用词是否得当

以下是我两份工作的工作职责的英文，共有两个版本：
第一个版本：

1、Responsible for the organization of quality system, plan, coordinate, supervise and audit work。
2、About the quality of the outsourcing factory consultation, improve audit quality。
3、Analysis of quality data (SPC,QC七 tool，FMEA)。
4、Dealing with foreign customer quality complain and complain。
5、The daily operation of quality department。
6、Be responsible for the management of the quality department staff

1. Be responsible for the quality organization to carry out guidelines, policies and decrees.Executive director of quality work instructions。
2. Responsible forthe quality system of organization, plan, coordinate, supervise and audit work。
3. Responsible for product developed from into the storage of raw materials into finished products to users in the process of monitoring and measurement, as well as the plan quality control plan
4. Responsible for quality information management, organization of quality accident analysis and corrective and preventive activities, urge and inspect the implementation of corrective and preventive measures and effect test certificate.。
5. With the continuous improvement of quality and cost related organization。
6. Assist QC manager to manage their factory QC team。
7. ssist the administrative organization system of internal audit.

第二个版本

1、Responsible for the organization of quality system, plan, coordinate, supervise and audit work。
2、About the quality of the outsourcing factory consultation, improve audit quality。
3、Analysis of quality data (SPC,QC七 tool，FMEA)。
4、Dealing with foreign customer quality complain and complain。
5、The daily operation of quality department。
6、Be responsible for the management of the quality department staff

1. be responsible for organizing and implementing the quality of work related policies, laws and regulations .Executive director of quality work instructions。
2. Responsible is the quality system of organization, plan, coordinate, supervise and audit work。
3. Responsible for product developed from into the storage of raw materials into finished products to users in the process of monitoring and measurement, and the plan quality control plan
4. Responsible for quality information management, organization of quality accident analysis and corrective and preventive activities, urge and inspect the implementation of corrective and preventive measures and effect-test verification.。
5. With the continuous improvement of quality and cost related organization。
6. Assist QC manager to manage their factory QC team。

7.assist the organization in charge of internal audit quality system.
想表达的中文意思为

1、负责质量体系的组织、计划、协调、督促和审核工作。
2、对外协厂的质量协商，质量改善审核。
3、对质量数据分析(SPC,QC七大工具，FMEA)。
4、处理国外客户的质量抱怨及投诉。
5、质量部门的日常运作。
6、负责质量部员工的管理
1.负责组织贯彻有关质量工作方针、政策、法令。执行经理质量工作的指示。
2.负责质量体系的组织、计划、协调、督促和审核工作。
3.负责产品从进原材料入库变成成品到发达用户过程的监视和测量，以及质量控制的策划
4.负责质量信息管理，组织质量事故的分析纠正和预防活动，督促与检查实施纠正预防措施及效果验 证。
5.组织与质量和成本相关的持续改进；
6.协助QC经理管理各自工厂的QC团队；

1. 协助体系主管组织内审

大家觉得那个错误更少或者那个跟好，要是能给我修改一下更是感激不尽...