Have a joy

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Boneless Chicken Breasts
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. Don't worry, lady,"he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

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1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Manager : *Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!